Well, today was pretty busy. It was Makailyn's last official day of Kindergarten, but she did not go. I keep her home, because I recieved her report card yesterday at her end of year picnic. She is now an official 1st grader!! I could not be more proud of her! She is such a bright little girl. The main reason that I kept her home today was because since it was raining the kids had to clean the classroom. How nice is that for the teachers to make their pupils do what the janitors are getting paid to do. That is just beyond wrong in so many ways. Why couldnt they do a craft or read stories or just play inside??? I just can not belive that. So I let her sleep in this morning; if you want to call 7:30am sleeping in?? LOL

So, eric had to get the oil changed in the car this morning, then we headed to the market. How eventful was that with a 3 and 6 year old. I want this I want that.......but other than that they where pretty good. Than we came home and put them away and then Makenzie had a dentist appointment at 2:30. She did great at her appointment this time. She did not have to have anyone in the chair with her like the last few times. She also got an excellent report. She has perfect teeth for a 3 year old. He said that her teeth are perfectly straight for now, but when the adult teeth start to come in she will not have any room for them all so they will come in crooked because she has a small mouth. (I kind of laughed when he said that one) LOL My child with a small mouth??? Just kidding. After her appointment we had lunch and now hopefully they will nap. They are getting cranky and need one BAD!! So does mommy!!

I go to the Dr on Monday for a check up. I will be 25 weeks tomorrow. I just can not believe that it has been 7 weeks since we got the news on our precious angel. She is getting so active now. I often just sit and watch my tummy roll back and forth and get side tracked from what I was doing. Makenzie likes to lay her head on my belly to see if she will kick her. Sometimes she will, but sometimes she will not. Poor Makailyn has yet to feel her move. When she is moving I will have her come over to me and put her hand on my belly, but the little bugger stops moving around. I told her in due time she will get to feel her baby sister. Makenzie keeps telling me that she loves her baby sissy and that she does not want her to be killed. I told her that she was not going to be killed, that she was just going to go live with Jesus and the Angels in heaven. I dont know what else to tell her. She will look at me and say "Well she will be dead then" I told her that I know that, but we can still love her and talk about her. Makailyn does not say much about her. I dont know what to think about that. She has been starting to get aggressive towards us, but especially me for some reason. I dont know if she might think that it is my fault that her sister is going to die or what. I can not get her to open up at all. My husband has even tried to talk to her. I have seriously concidered taking her to counseling and seeing if that would help her. If anyone has any suggestions, please by all means let me know them. I am getting despirate now. I just do not know how much more I can take at this point. Dont get me wrong I love her sooooo much. She is my first born and she has went thru so much since the day she was born. She was born with bilateral club feet and has had to have 2 major surgeries to correct them. One surgery was at 9 months and the other when she was about 2 years old. And then she had to have her adnoids removed a few months after that, because they where growing into the back of her nasal cavity. Now she has to probably have her tonsils removed sometime this summer, because they are starting to block her airway because they are so enlarged.
The poor thing has had it rough. My 3 year old has also had her share of medical problems. She has febrile seizures and has been in the hospital quite a few times for being sick and not knowing what is wrong with her. We have also been battling her iron count and we finally have it at almost 11 now. She is now complaining of leg pains in the back of her thighs in the evening to the point that she will drop to the floor holding them and cry. This has been going on for a few weeks and I thought that it was because Makailyn had been complaining of calf pain because of her feet and had to go to therapy for a few months, but she has not complained in awhile and I am starting to get concerned that its may be more than just growing pains. Maybe I am being alittle obsessive about them, but I can not help it. They are my babies and I am aloud to worry. Plus my oldest brother had juvenile arthritis when he was little and so did I, but mine started at the age of 13. So that makes me worry that that may be her problem. Enough about that.

I want to thank each and everyone of you who have taken the time to read my blog. I appreciate it greatly. I never really knew much about blogging until I came across on while searching for info on Anencephaly, but now that I have read these blogs it helps me understand what I will have to go thru and what to expect alittle more. I also feel that it helps me so much to be able to sit down and write all of my feelings down and feel like I am not being judged for what I say. Thank you once again. I am praying for all of the families out there that have or are going through heartache as my family and I are.

I will leave you with one of my favorites from the bible:

"He sent hardships to test you, to determine what is in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. He made life difficult for you... This was to teach you that it is not by bread alone that man lives, but by all that comes out of God's mouth...
He may have been sending hardships to test you, but it was so He would eventually do [all the more] good for you."
Deuteronomy 8

Bless you all!!!!


Kelli725 said...

I am fairly new to blogging..but a few people I watch for new posts DAILY(including you!)...all the blogs I read are so inspiring and I honestly feel like I'm getting my 'lesson' of the day reading them. I hope you know what I mean... anyway this post has me in tears. I am so sorry for what you are going through and know I will continue praying for you and your family but I just wanted you to know that my heart goes out to you and you make me see that my 'issues' are so small...I try to be grateful but I'm human and find myself complaining and then I see someone like you being so strong..I truly admire you. ~kelli