Well, we went to the Dr today. I have gained 3 pounds so now I am neg 13 instead of neg 16. Nevaeh is still really active. Her heart rate was 128 and the dr said that that is normal. She then told me that she has been talking to some other people about me wanting to have a c-section and she see's and understands where I am coming from. I am happy for that, so she is having an ultrasound done in 2 weeks which is August 17th (my Angel Mommy's Birthday) to see how much extra fluid I am retaining and what position Nevaeh is laying. Then on August 25th she is doing the c-section. That means that we only have 3 more weeks with Nevaeh safe and sound. I felt like I was hit with a ton of bricks, because I was expecting to have her for another 7 weeks, not just 3 weeks. She told me that she feels that Nevaeh will have a better chance at surviving longer if she delivers at 36 weeks. I told her that even if it is just minutes with her, the c-section is worth it. So now I have so much to do and so little time to do it. I have a house to clean and arrangements to make and things to get in order for our angel. There is so much that I want for her and do not think I will be able to get. Seeing how our time has shortened so much. I just do not know what to do with myself. I have done nothing but cry off and on since my appointment. Dont get me wrong, I am so happy to be finally be able to meet her, but I want to be able to keep her safe longer.
I am so glad school clothing shopping is done. All we have to do now is get backpacks and supplies for the girls. I have to find out when Makenzie's home visit is, because it is usually the week that Makailyn goes back which is August 26th. I am torn to what I should do there too. Should I send her to her first day of school or what??? I dont know what would be best for her. I want her to be with me and her baby sister as long as possible, even after she passes. But I do not want her to miss out on her first day of school. I now have to figure out who her 1st grade teacher is so that I can let her know what is going on, plus find out who Makenzie has for Pre-K so that I can find out when home visits are. I just feel so overwhelmed right now and I do not know where to turn. I literally feel like I am going crazy!!! Well, I am going to "TRY" to get some sleep. I have to email the funeral director to see when we can make her arrangements, because I do not think that I can do it after the fact. Thank you so much for reading and the continued prayers. Bless you all and I love ya's. Mia
3 weeks ago