I am a wife and mother of 2 beautiful little girls and one precious angel on the way. I have been with my hubby for 11 years and married to him for 7 yrs this August. I am currently 24 weeks pregnant with a precious baby girl who was recently diagnosed with Anencephaly. It was hard at first to swallow, but I have come to terms that this is God's will and he believes that I am strong enough to grow and nurture and love his new little angel before he takes her to heaven to be with him. I am blessed to have this little girl inside of me as well as having such a loving and supportive husband and 2 beautiful little girls who are 6 and 3. Their names are Makailyn Elyse (6) and Makenzie Jean (3). If you would like to know anything else about me do not hesitate to ask me.
Please vote for her. She could win $200.00 and It will go directly to her for things she wants or needs for School this fall, cause She was finally excepted to be a Pre-K kid!!! I am so proud of her!!! Thank you all!!!!
I would also say thank you for keeping up with my blog. It warms my heart that there are good people in this world who still care about more than just themselves. I know that I do not comment on everyone elses blogs but I do when I have time read each of them. It may be a day or so after they are posted but I do read them and they are an inspiration to me.
Anyway today was a pretty inbetween day for me. I did not get up until 11:30am and that was only cause my hubby who works nights had to go to bed and I needed to get up with the girls so that they did not destroy the house......as if it is not already that way to begin with. He also could not contain himself with the letter that we received this afternoon in the mail for Makenize. My baby girl was accepted into Pre-K. My baby is growing up and off to school. So I now have a 1st grader and a Pre-K kid......what will I do with my free time???? I know that the first few months after school begins are going to be extremely rough and I will not want to do anything but lay in bed, but I will be praying that God will give me the strength to handle what he is giving me. I am still not sure how long my hubby is going to be able to take off from work, but I know that I will need him here with me for a long time. I may sound selfish, but I do not want to be alone. His work has already OKed him 6 weeks for FMLA, but it is not paid for and we can not go without money for that long as that is our only income and we live pay to pay as it is. So I will just have to deal with being alone after he goes back to work. I will just sleep or lay on the couch or in bed by him while he sleeps. The closer it gets to my due date the more scared I get. I do not want this to end yet, I am not ready. I know that I will never ever be ready though. I am not to proud to say that I am Scared to Death to loose my baby girl Nevaeh Grace. I wish that I could keep her in me forever and keep her safe. But I have to let go and let her go be with Jesus. I trust that he will take excellent care of her, but I will be left empty. And I just dont know how I will be able to handle that feeling. I just feel like I am slowly dying right now. Is that normal?? Am I going crazy??? I know that I have to be strong for my other babies and for my hubby, but sometimes it is sooooo very hard. I smile in public like nothing is wrong, but deep down inside I am crying and dying. I am finding it hard to enjoy everyday things and getting aggrevated over stupid things and flying off the deepend over nothing. I hate hurting my baby girls feelings and I do not want them to think or feel in anyway that mommy does not love them. Cause they are the world to me and I would do anything for them that is in my power. If I had the money and the means I would give them everything that they could ever ask for. All I can say is that I am trying my best, but I feel that my best is not good enough.
I did manage to take them out back this afternoon to swim. I got in and cooled off and sat in the steps and walked around a bit, but then I got out and just watched them and took some pics of them. All I wanted to do was come inside and curl up in a ball on the couch and go to sleep. I feel so bad that I could not enjoy them having fun and playing. Am I a bad person for that?? Then when my hubby got up he made hotdogs on the grill and then he wanted to get in the pool. He asked me and I said that I just did not want to. He just wanted to spend some time with me in there, but I just wanted to be left alone. I know that he was hurt by it and I am sorry. I feel like I am neglecting him too. He just took the girls back out for about an hour. I did manage to walk out and sit in a chair and watch for a while and take a few more pics. I just feel like a crappy mommy and a horrible wife.
On another note the PreK letter put Kenz on the move about potty training. After she learned that she was indeed going to school in September she was ready to pee and poo on the potty. Off came the pull up and on went the biggie girl panties. No accidents whats so ever. She peed in the potty and was soooo proud of herself. She even jumped out of the pool a few times to stand in the grass to pee. I had to fight her to get her in a pull up for bed. So we will see what happens tomorrow. I am going to post some pool pics on here and then I am headed to bed. My pill is kicking in and I can barely keep my eyes open. Love and Hugs to Alllllllll, Mia
Sorry that I have not updated in a while, but I have been busy. Saturday was just a blur to me as I could have cried at the drop of a hat. I was on an emotional rollacoaster all day long. But for fathers day I was able to straighten up and attempt to make my husband feel like a king!!! I started the day by making my hubby breakfast. I made him pancakes, sausage, scrambled eggs and coffee. He was grateful for that. Then the girls could hardly wait to give him gifts....(thank you WUAH friends for your help)...He got a watch, a pair of blue jean shorts, a pair of Keyser Tornado shorts, a pair of WVU shorts, a t-shirt that says Big Daddy, and a Carl Edwards t-shirt. We also picked him up 2 cards from walmart too. After that Eric's dad and sister stopped by for a visit and then we went to see his Mom (My mom in law) and step dad to wish him a happy fathers day. Then we went to my Dads and I made him and Eric fathers day dinner. Which consisted of Meatloaf w/cheese for my hubby and then I made a traditional meatloaf for my dad only I stuffed 2 peppers with it and then put the rest in 2 muffin pans and called them Meat Muffins.....(Racheal Ray trick)!! With that I fixed corn and green beans, mashed potatoes and brown and serve rolls and we had applesauce too. They ate like pigs including my oldest Makailyn. I swear I think she is on a growing spurt lately. Cause all she wants to do is eat eat eat!!!
Today I got up at 10:30am I know I know I am lazy!!! But I actually woke up in a pretty good mood today....Which is really a shock to pretty much everyone....Those days come pretty few and far between....I had a Dr appointment at 1pm and my dad had an appointment for his Echo at 3pm so he just road with us. My Dr appointment went GREAT!!! I have lost a total of 11 pounds, but my blood pressure was back to normal which makes me feel better. It was staying in the upper 20's to 30's on the top and in the upper 80's on the bottom. This time I think it was (dont quote me on this) 112/62 or something close to that. Baby Nevaeh Grace is still as rambuxious as always.....flippin and a floppin; her heart rate was 144bpm. She is measuring at 30 and we are 27.1 so she is measuring bigger than expected. Dr. says that Anen babies are usually small. I also got my script for Folic Acid and a nerve pill. I am hoping that the nerve pill will take the edge off and I will be able to eat more and stop loosing weight. Not that I could stand to loose some more, but this is not the time for that right now. I just hate having this queesyness constantly after I put anything in my tummy. The zofran are working pretty good, but they are also causing more headaches and I have to take more tylenol with them. But they are worth it in the long run. So all in all I had a pretty good Dr visit!!! I did not leave the office nearly in tears as I usually do. They also let me borrow a doppler to check her heart beat and make me feel more comfortable. The girls really love it and I am hoping that it will help my hubbys grandmother see this pregnancy in another light. She is starting to come around and asking me more about Nevaeh minus the sarcasim. That is always a plus!!!
When we got home today we had to go to walmart for fill my scripts and got some groceries for our trip to Rocky Gap with my sis~in~law, my best friend and a bunch of other mommy's and all of the kiddo's on Friday to have a picnic and swim. All I need to find now are some sand toys for the girls. I am going to look at the Dollar Tree tomorrow if not there then I guess I will see what the Goodwill has. They are excited cause they will get to play in the sand and feel like they are on a beach. It will be nice to get out of the house for a change and get to socialize with adults.
We just got out of the pool. The water was 79 almost 80. Kinda cool, but refreshing. Makailyn is a little fish and is only swimming with her special bathing suit that has built in floaty devices in the body of it. She still does not like to go under the water, but she is getting a little bit braver every time she is in. Little Miss Makenzie really surprised me this year. Last year she was a leach and would not go by herself at all. This year she puts on her special suit and her armies and goes from 3 to 8 foot without anyone holding her.....All by meself as she says....She is even trying to swim without her armies just like Bubba aka Makailyn. She just needs to remember to keep her mouth shut cause she sometimes strangles on water and it scares her. They did not want to get out, but I was getting cold and ready to come in and relax. I told them that noone was going to come into Mom-Moms back yard and steal her pool....LOL!!! I am pooped now and about ready to go into my room stretch out on the bed and watch one of the Redbox free movies I brought home today. Either Friday the 13th or She just not that into you.....Still debating on which one to watch.....I love me a good horror flick!!!
So I think I am calling it a night!! Sweet Dreams all and I hope and pray that I get another good nights sleep tonight. I have a feeling I will, atleast I am hoping!!! Big hugs to all....I have been praying for all who have lost their angels and all who are going to in the future. Thank you for being my online friends!!!
Well tonight's lesson was about obeying Jesus and taking Jesus into your heart and being saved. The girls made Choo Choo Trains that say "Serve Him"; they got to use glue and magnets so they can hang them up..... After the closing prayer Makailyn asked Pastor Jody if her would pray for her baby sister. It brought tears to my eyes and I am so proud of her for thinking of her. She also wants to do the opening prayer tomorrow evening. I am about ready for bed for the night. So I will update more tomorrow if I get a chance. ((((HUGS)))) Mia
This is what the girls and I have been doing every evening this week. The church across the street from us has been having Vacation Bible School. This years theme is Boomerang Express and everytime that is said the children are supposed to yell "It all comes back to Jesus"!! They are learning 4 songs and dance moves that go along with them, so today I searched youtube for them and sure enough I found them...Now my daughters are addicted to watching them and learning the words and the movements. If I can figure it out I will post them on here. They are nice songs to listen too. There bible verse has been "God loved us so he gave his only son Jesus". We are learning the story of Peter and how he came to know Jesus and last night the children learned that Peter denied Jesus 3 times before the rooster crowed. I am anxious to find out what the skit will be about tonight. Makenzie just loves to see Jesus and learn about him. She always asks her teacher if he is coming back so she can see him after every skit each night. I am with the Pre-K class and we learned last night about being a Christian. He tried to explain it in words that children that young could explain. And I thought that he got his point across. He said that Dogs dont meow and cats dont bark and dogs dont fly. He told them that there are things that Christians do not do also and explained that lying and being mean and hitting where things that Christians do not do, just like dogs and cats dont do what each other do. That really caught their attention too. They had a snowcone for their snack and made a rain stick out of paper towel roll and stickers about Jesus and God. We then went to bible study and learned more about Peter and Jesus, and learned about Missionaries and how they spread the word of Jesus.
I will try to update on what we do this evening....
Well after alot of thought and names we have finally come up with the perfect name for our baby girl. I will start off by telling you that this name came to me in a dream about a week ago. I think that it was God's way of telling me that this is her name. I really do not know why but I dreamt about her after I gave birth. I do that often. But here is our little Angels name.
Nevaeh Grace Spiker I believe that this is the most appropriate name to give her and I think that God has chosen this for her as well. If you do not know Nevaeh is Heaven spelled backwards. I have always liked Grace for a middle name and it is by the Grace of God that I have her with me right now.
Here are the pictures that I promised last week of the gifts from PPFL. I have also included a picture of an outfit that I could not help but buy the other day while at walmart. I was looking for a hat to match her heaven sent outfit, but have came up empty handed.
Well, Dr called me today and we talked a good while. She did apologize, but still sticks to wanting me to have a vaginal birth. She said that she feels that it is the best thing for me especially if I want to have more children. She also put me on Zofran for my nausea and vomiting. It seems to be taking most of the queezyness away. I still can not eat all that much. I will just have to deal with that from now on. We both feel that it is my nerves and the stress that I am under. She also apologized for that too, she said that she did not think that it was that bad. I just wish that she would understand where I am coming from about the c-section. I want to give my baby girl the best chance she can have to breath life on this earth. I have already told my husband that I want him with her every second after she is born and not to worry about me. I guess I really have some soul searchin to do right now and thinking about what is best for me in the long run. I just want to meet my baby girl, and I want to hear her life and see her breath if only for a few seconds. If I can not then I want my husband too experience that, as I am experiencing her life inside of me. He needs that moment also. Am I being selfish to my other girls?? Should I have another VBac so that I will be able to do more for them?? Dr told me that I may labor and not progress and still have to have a c-section. I just do not know what to do I am torn.......My heart is breaking with this decision.........Why cant she just be a normal baby girl????? Please pray that God will guide me to make the right decision? Please??
I am going to be seen every 2 weeks to ease my mind. I am so glad for that. Thank you for listening to me ramble on and on.....
As I wrote in an earlier post, It is only getting harder for me as the time passes by. I am not to the point where I can not eat because of nausea or vomiting. I have lost a total of 14 pounds so far. I went today for my 1 hour glucose test and a urine culture because my urine tested positive for nitrates last week. So I figure I have a UTI......lovely.......I finally called my OB today about the nausea again, but she had already left for the day. I however spoke to her office manager, whom I really have come to like so much, about what is going on and what went on last monday at my appointment. She was putting a note on my chart and going to have the Dr to call me. Well she called me while I had the girls at bible school this evening and I had my phone on silent out of respect of being in a church and wanted uninteruppted time with my girls. I have not had time for just my girls for a while now cause I have been babysitting my nephew for the past almost 2 years. I have since given that up and hopefully that causes no hard feelings there. I just can not handle that added stress right now and not being able to sleep at night and having to get up at 5:30am has been taking a toll on me mentally and physically. I have just decided that with what my family is going thru right now it is time for us to be a family just us 4 plus baby....and try to enjoy what time we have left with this precious Angel. I am just hoping that everyone understands where I am coming from and has no hard feelings from this. And oh well if they do.......
Tomorrow I am hopefully going to take the girls to a local playground for a Party in the Park sponsored by our Library. I am hoping to get a good nights sleep and can finally eat a bit in the morning even if its toast. I am also going to be getting a phone call from my OB and hopefully it is an apology for the way she treated me last week, plus she said she has test results too.
I think that I am going to turn in for the night after I catch up on a few blogs that I have missed these past few days. thank you all for reading!!! (((HUGS))) to all!!!!
I just wanted to share with you a wonderful website that I found quite a while back. It is called Wish Up A Hero. I have had wishes granted on this site as well as granted wishes for others myself. Their motto is "Everyone has a Wish, Everyone can be a Hero". If you take a look at the left side of my blog I have a link there for anyone who wants to take a look at this wonderful site. I did not want to keep this to myself, as I am sure there are alot of you out there who have wishes also that you can not grant yourself. Bless you all!!!
Here is a little bit about them from their About Us section on the site:
Wish Upon A Hero was first conceived by founder Dave Girgenti shortly after the September 11th attacks on New York City. From his home in NJ, Girgenti watched as thousands of people posted pictures of missing loved ones throughout the city. He thought there had to be a faster, more organized way to connect people in need. That was the moment in which the idea was born.
Less than five years later, Hurricane Katrina created a similar catastrophic event in New Orleans where hundreds of thousands of people needed immediate help. This time it wasn't just about locating loved ones. Hurricane victims needed everything from healthcare services, food, fresh water, clothing and shelter.
t became clear that Wish Upon a Hero needed to become more than an idea. Over the next two years, Girgenti exhausted every resource at his disposal to create an online community that offered a platform for people to help people. Working under the mantra of “No wish too large and no hero too small,” Girgenti created www.wishuponahero.com, which launched in September 2007. This is a one of a kind service designed to connect those in need with people that can truly change their lives.
Cast a wish Wish Upon A Hero is completely free to its users, allowing everyone who registers the opportunity to cast up to three wishes at a time. Because Wish Upon A Hero is designed to help everyone, wishes can be big or small, elaborate or simple, based on financial need or just asking for a simple favor.
Be a hero Wish Upon A Hero is a unique venue for any individual, organization, or company looking to make a difference in someone’s life, or the lives of countless people. Heroes come in all ages and from all walks of life. All of us, from our nation’s most powerful corporations to individual philanthropists, and those with limited financial means, can be someone’s hero:
* A man who buys uniforms for his town’s little league team. * A plastic surgeon brings his skill to the aid of an uninsured breast cancer survivor. * A national appliance retailer that donates a refrigerator to a single mom with a newborn. * A groundskeeper at Yankee stadium who helps a woman fulfill her father’s lifelong dream of throwing a single pitch across home plate. * A group of 8th graders that rally behind a fellow student whose home was lost in a fire. * A woman who writes to a man in Seattle to say, “I think I’m the sister you’ve been looking for since we were separated 21 years ago.” * A female soldier stationed in Iraq who says, “yes, I will.”
Once a wish is granted, the hero can choose to remain anonymous, or be formally recognized on the Wish Upon A Hero website.
Sign up and post a Wish or become a Hero today. Everyone can help anyone.
Hello All, I just wanted to share with you what we received in the mail today. As most of you probably are aware of a website called Prenatal Partners for Life (PPFL). Well a couple of weeks ago I went to that site and told my story and today I received a wonderful box in the mail from them. I had totally forgot about doing that and was so surprised at what my baby girl had just received. In the box was a Blanket made by Luke's Blankets of Love that is absolutely beautiful, a little lamb that has a silky blanket attached to it and their beautiful CD called Down The Road Of Bittersweet. There was also a card addressed to me which I cherish. It had beautiful words wrote in it, and I thank them so much for such wonderful gifts. I will take some pictures later on a post them, but right now I have a house full of children who are keeping me pretty occupied!!
I just thought that I would share that with you today. Bless you all and thank you for reading!!!
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27
Wait for the LORD;be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14 New International Version
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12 New International Version Bible
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear ; do not be frightened." Take Courage 1 Peter 3:14
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever." Psalm 23
Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22
I lift up my eyes to the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2
Well this weekend pretty much sucked!!! I felt horrible....I can not eat.....and all I did yesterday was vomit (sorry for the TMI). I know that these days are to be expected. But this weekend what the worst yet, and then I go to my Dr's thinking that maybe hearing my baby's heartbeat would life me up. Boy was I wrong!!!! First they did not tell me if I gained or am still loosing. I know I have lost because I have been keeping track. Then she did not even tell me what her heart rate was or if she is measuring ok. All she was worried about is whether or not "I Still want to do this?" I told her yes and that we have discussed it and we want to have a scheduled c-section for the baby's sake. She said "WHY??" I told her that my 1st daughter was born by c-section and I had a rough time with my youngest and that she had to put the Vacuum on her head and my heart rate and blood pressure kept dropping. She really got nasty and said "I do not prefer to do that but I guess I can." I also asked for a script for folic acid to start now and she said "NO" because it will not help now and I said that I know that I just want to start now for future pregnancies. She said no that she would when we decided to try again. I also told her about me not being able to eat and a she asked if I was vomiting and she asked if anyone else was sick and I told her no. I said that I think that it is my nerves and all she said was you will have that. She never even offered me anything to help that. She was in the room all of maybe 5 minutes and then left. I have never felt so mistreated in all of my life. Am I over exaggerating because of hormones or what?? I have seriously considered in switching Dr's at this point. Am I wrong??? Should I stick it out??? No one should have to endure that......NOONE.............!!! She has also spaced out my visits even more than usual. Now she does not want to see me for 5 weeks now?? I am 25.2 days pregnant. I feel like I am being just tossed aside at this point. I just feel horrible...
On another note...I did get my haircut finally today. It was down to the middle of my back and now it is above my chin. I feel soooooo much better now. I hope this helps with the headaches.
Will someone please give me your input on what I am going through right now. Am I being too sensitive?? Thank you for reading my blog. I really enjoy writing it and reading your comments. Bless you all.
"The Saturday of the Pancake Breakfast I did something out of impulse. As I was driving a thought entered my head and before I knew it I was at Michael Ellers (a well known jewelry store in Findlay) and I bought something. I found a necklace called a captive opal (aka floating opal). It is a glass bead that has opal flakes that float in it. It is suspended on a 14K gold chain. It's really neat and when I saw it I knew I had to buy it. (Sorry about the pic-I don't have a real fancy schmancy camera.) You can also view it here. (It is the 10th pendant.)"
"When I bought this necklace I had in mind to do a type of raffle/giveaway thing to benefit Sufficient Grace Ministries. So I talked it over with Kelly and got everything finalized.
Each entry of the raffle is $2 and can be submitted by the ChipIn widget below. There is no limit to how many entries one person can have.
This raffle will run for 2 weeks beginning at the time of this post and ending at 11:59 pm EST on June 21. The winner will be announced at noon on June 22."
Well, today was pretty busy. It was Makailyn's last official day of Kindergarten, but she did not go. I keep her home, because I recieved her report card yesterday at her end of year picnic. She is now an official 1st grader!! I could not be more proud of her! She is such a bright little girl. The main reason that I kept her home today was because since it was raining the kids had to clean the classroom. How nice is that for the teachers to make their pupils do what the janitors are getting paid to do. That is just beyond wrong in so many ways. Why couldnt they do a craft or read stories or just play inside??? I just can not belive that. So I let her sleep in this morning; if you want to call 7:30am sleeping in?? LOL
So, eric had to get the oil changed in the car this morning, then we headed to the market. How eventful was that with a 3 and 6 year old. I want this I want that.......but other than that they where pretty good. Than we came home and put them away and then Makenzie had a dentist appointment at 2:30. She did great at her appointment this time. She did not have to have anyone in the chair with her like the last few times. She also got an excellent report. She has perfect teeth for a 3 year old. He said that her teeth are perfectly straight for now, but when the adult teeth start to come in she will not have any room for them all so they will come in crooked because she has a small mouth. (I kind of laughed when he said that one) LOL My child with a small mouth??? Just kidding. After her appointment we had lunch and now hopefully they will nap. They are getting cranky and need one BAD!! So does mommy!!
I go to the Dr on Monday for a check up. I will be 25 weeks tomorrow. I just can not believe that it has been 7 weeks since we got the news on our precious angel. She is getting so active now. I often just sit and watch my tummy roll back and forth and get side tracked from what I was doing. Makenzie likes to lay her head on my belly to see if she will kick her. Sometimes she will, but sometimes she will not. Poor Makailyn has yet to feel her move. When she is moving I will have her come over to me and put her hand on my belly, but the little bugger stops moving around. I told her in due time she will get to feel her baby sister. Makenzie keeps telling me that she loves her baby sissy and that she does not want her to be killed. I told her that she was not going to be killed, that she was just going to go live with Jesus and the Angels in heaven. I dont know what else to tell her. She will look at me and say "Well she will be dead then" I told her that I know that, but we can still love her and talk about her. Makailyn does not say much about her. I dont know what to think about that. She has been starting to get aggressive towards us, but especially me for some reason. I dont know if she might think that it is my fault that her sister is going to die or what. I can not get her to open up at all. My husband has even tried to talk to her. I have seriously concidered taking her to counseling and seeing if that would help her. If anyone has any suggestions, please by all means let me know them. I am getting despirate now. I just do not know how much more I can take at this point. Dont get me wrong I love her sooooo much. She is my first born and she has went thru so much since the day she was born. She was born with bilateral club feet and has had to have 2 major surgeries to correct them. One surgery was at 9 months and the other when she was about 2 years old. And then she had to have her adnoids removed a few months after that, because they where growing into the back of her nasal cavity. Now she has to probably have her tonsils removed sometime this summer, because they are starting to block her airway because they are so enlarged. The poor thing has had it rough. My 3 year old has also had her share of medical problems. She has febrile seizures and has been in the hospital quite a few times for being sick and not knowing what is wrong with her. We have also been battling her iron count and we finally have it at almost 11 now. She is now complaining of leg pains in the back of her thighs in the evening to the point that she will drop to the floor holding them and cry. This has been going on for a few weeks and I thought that it was because Makailyn had been complaining of calf pain because of her feet and had to go to therapy for a few months, but she has not complained in awhile and I am starting to get concerned that its may be more than just growing pains. Maybe I am being alittle obsessive about them, but I can not help it. They are my babies and I am aloud to worry. Plus my oldest brother had juvenile arthritis when he was little and so did I, but mine started at the age of 13. So that makes me worry that that may be her problem. Enough about that.
I want to thank each and everyone of you who have taken the time to read my blog. I appreciate it greatly. I never really knew much about blogging until I came across on while searching for info on Anencephaly, but now that I have read these blogs it helps me understand what I will have to go thru and what to expect alittle more. I also feel that it helps me so much to be able to sit down and write all of my feelings down and feel like I am not being judged for what I say. Thank you once again. I am praying for all of the families out there that have or are going through heartache as my family and I are.
I will leave you with one of my favorites from the bible:
"He sent hardships to test you, to determine what is in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. He made life difficult for you... This was to teach you that it is not by bread alone that man lives, but by all that comes out of God's mouth... He may have been sending hardships to test you, but it was so He would eventually do [all the more] good for you."Deuteronomy 8
Anencephaly is a congenital birth defect. While the word anencephaly means « without a brain », it does not accurately describe a child with such a defect. Children with anencephaly do have a brain, but it is not fully developed. A baby with anencephaly is admittedly born with little scalp, cranium vault, or brain, but he or she does usually have part of the cerebral trunk. Your baby's facial features will be complete; however, there will be an opening in the skull. The size varies from child to child. If you look into the opening, you will see some brain tissue. Your baby's head can be covered with a cap if you do not want to see this. There may be other problems with your baby's body (folded ears, cleft palate, open spine), but usually your baby's body will develop normally.
Can a baby with anencephaly live?
During your pregnancy, your baby will receive everything needed through the mother and so grows well, just like any healthy baby. After birth, however, vital functions cannot be sustained for long. Though breathing is often spontaneous, it is not stable enough. Many babies with anencephaly live throughout the pregnancy to birth. Still, some die prematurely while others die during the delivery. This is called stillbirth. Those who survive may live a few seconds, minutes, hours, or even days. Sadly, the condition is not correctable or reversible. Anencepahly is always fatal.
Why does my baby have anencephaly?
First, it is not your fault. From the beginning of your baby's development, before you even knew you were pregnant, the nervous system (brain, spinal cord) did not develop normally. It is thought that this is due to a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Where do you go from here? Your pregnancy can continue normally because your health is no more at risk than it is during a normal pregnancy. In a few cases, the baby is not able to swallow the fluid in the bag of waters so too much amniotic liquid (hydramnion) is produced. Doctors can remove some of this excess fluid. Although some parents choose to end their pregnancies early and thus end their babies' lives as well, babies with anencephaly can be born normally.
More information: Please consider looking at the website
This site contains much information as well as photos of babies with anencephaly, personal stories, and the opportunity to be in touch with other
A carefully considered farewell Anencephaly! To be told that your baby has this birth defect is heartbreaking and shocking. There is no other way to describe this terrible news. Everything you wanted for your babyyour hopes and wishesare gone with the news of this fatal defect. Nothing will ever be the same again. Your pain and grief are very real and very normal. You will not grieve more if your baby lives longer or less if your baby dies very soon. Grief is intense and can't be avoided or lessened. It may, however, be increased. In our experience, we have never heard of any parents who carried their babies as long as they could who regretted that decision, but we have heard of parents who ended the pregnancy early and did regret that decision very much. A carefully planned farewell to your child is the first step you can take to deal with that grief. Take the time to prepare for the birth and death of your baby. Your baby deserves to be welcomed in love and to be given a dignified farewell. Your child is a small human being even if he or she cannot live long.
You can give your baby a name and hold and cradle, Hold your baby in your arms when born even if your baby is stillborn. You can admire and cherish your baby. If you cover the opening on the head with a cap or hat, you can focus fully on your child. Don't forget to take photos and footprints; these will be priceless memories. Unfortunately, burial or cremation costs are not covered expenses in the USA for our babies. But having even a simple memorial ceremony is an opportunity to say a farewell to your baby. The pain felt at the time is very intense, but you will feel that pain no matter what. For closure or relief of grief, it can be important to have this ceremony and some place to feel your sadness. This can be a burial place, a memorial garden, even a small memory box in your home where you put photos or other things that remind you of your baby. This is an official testimony to your child's reality because your baby is a real human being despite the deformity. If your baby is cremated, you may wish to pick a special place to scatter the ashes, a place of comfort and meaning for you.
Will my next baby have a risk of anencephaly?
In most cases anencephaly is an isolated anomaly. It is very unlikely that it should occur again in the same family. Statistically, the rate of recurrence for a woman who has already had a child with anencephaly is 4%. It has been shown that the vitamin folic acid can prevent up to 70% of of potential cases. So, women who have had one baby diagnosed with anencephaly should take 4 mg. of folic acid every day before trying to have another baby. It is important to take this daily because many pregnancies are unplanned.